Towards the end of last year, I posed a question on Instagram asking what type of content you would like to see from me this new year and one of you answered, "how confident you are, you always seem so confident." This response almost made me cry because some days, I find I'm not as confident as I want to be so it made me feel so good about myself that someone sees me this way. Personally, I don't believe confidence is something you're born with (I think that would be considered narcissism), I believe it's something you develop and learn for yourself.
When I was a child, I was the incredibly shy and gullible new kid in school who would do anything to make friends. I remember this one time in particular, I was told that pink couldn't be my favorite color because my best friends favorite color was blue, so my favorite color had to be....you guessed it: blue. (Over the years, I made a compromise with myself and purple became my favorite 😊). As a child, I didn't have the confidence to make friends by being myself, I felt I had to make others happy by doing what they asked me to do. As I got older, I realized that I was being walked all over and the kids were taking advantage of me. Unfortunately, I learned this truth the hard way when the last straw happened.
When I was younger we had a trampoline in the backyard and my siblings and I would jump around on almost everyday. Some girls at school learned of this, one of them living right around the block from me, and one day three of them came over to my house and asked if they could jump on it. Super excited that I still had some friends, I said yes and we all went out back to go jump and do back flips. After about an hour or an hour and a half, they told me they had to go back to their birthday party and they left without inviting me. I don't believe I felt so low (as a child) than at that point, and I realized at that moment that I was being used. I became pretty embarrassed of myself (which is crazy to think about) and I knew that something needed to change, I needed to change, and I believe that's when my confidence started to come out as I started standing up for myself. As I got older and entered middle and high school, I had much better luck at making true friends, of course there was also drama but that comes with the territory with being in middle and high school, and that was due to building my confidence.
Now that I'm an adult, and these situations no longer apply, I've learned of several other ways to help boost my confidence!
As an adult, one big confidence booster for me is a great photoshoot! Being able to freely express myself in some of your favorite outfits (or maybe it's a cosplay), and have yourself photographed shows you how truly beautiful you are. I'm a model in addition with being a blogger and one of my favorite things to do is work with local photographers on different projects and shots and once I get the finished product I always feel so great about myself that I helped create something, a visual story that will speak to others and for me that's amazing.
As we get older, the world's and our sense of style start to change and evolve. Once the new seasons start to come around, I usually take a couple of days to go through my old clothes, pick out the ones that I either don't like anymore or never wear, and donate them. Once that's done, it's time to bring in the new! This past year, due to Covid-19, I did a lot of online shopping, ordering new clothes for photoshoots and for our Floridian Christmas trip and general daily wear. There's nothing like new clothes that will help you feel so new and refreshed.
One other way to help build your confidence is with affirmation cards. Quarantine and the pandemic have put me in the dumps several times, and even with things that might put me in a better mood I would still find myself a little bummed out. One thing that really helped was ordering some affirmation cards from The Lamare (who also creates some beautiful planners and journals), I read one every morning which has been a great way to start off my day!
I try to make it a point to workout everyday, however I do it in a more healthy way than what I used to. We are so focused on weight and we define beauty by how thin or toned we are, however this is not what eating right and working out should be about. Working out and staying fit should be about being healthy and feeling good about yourself, it's something that you should want and do for you, and this has become my new philosophy and outlook. Working out on a regular basis will help you tone up and possibly lose weight, and while this shouldn't be viewed as the sole reason to workout, it is a bonus.
In conjunction with working out, you should also eat healthfully. I'm using the term healthy eating as opposed to diet for a myriad of reasons, however I'll sum it up very quickly: diet should not be a word. I don't believe in the word "diet" because the meaning behind it is not long lasting. When people go on a diet, they eat right and practice portion control for a few short months until they reach their target weight and once they achieve it they go back to their old ways. This is why I don't believe in diets, I believe in lifestyle changes. Eating out all the time and eating lots of processed foods can make you feel sluggish and tired, however eating whole foods such as leafy greens, whole grains, nuts, and fruits will give you essential nutrients your body needs to function and make you feel energized.
Whether this be a new hair style, getting a mani/pedi, or getting your makeup done just for yourself-a makeover can be one big confidence booster. The feeling of being freshened and dolled up gives one a big sense of confidence and makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Now like working out, trying to look beautiful and/or fit into a mold of what beauty is is not what I'm promoting, getting a makeover should be fun form of self care and if you feel more beautiful and confident afterwards then that's great, however this should not be done to help you fit into "societal standards", you should do it for yourself not for others.
With confidence, you have won before you started.
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